Burdens of the Heart
by spike that ass
Summary: Daichi, Suga, and Asahi have been there for each other through thick and thin. But three people don't just come together like that, do they? They got their stories told in their third year... but what about before that? To put it simply, it all started with a girl who could not tell her own story. Story takes place in their first year of Karasuno.
1. Wings of Beginning

**A/N: Hiyo. Here, have a story free of shipping and focusing more on other values like redemption, love (not the romantic kind), acceptance, and forgiveness.**

 **Full summary:**

 **Daichi, Suga, and Asahi have been there for each other through thick and thin. But three people don't just come together like that, do they? They got their stories told in their third year... but what about before that? To put it simply, it all started with a girl who could not tell her own story.**

 **Story takes place in their first year of Karasuno.**

 **Be warned, there's going to be some possible trigger themes in this story.**

* * *

Sugawara Koushi squirmed in his seat, his gaze fixed on the ground. Once or twice, his eyes flitted over to his older brother, who was grimacing as the tattoo artist leaned over him, the mechanized needle vibrating as it pressed into his skin.

Suga winced, pressing his back further into the couch and shutting his eyes, well aware of how utterly illegal this was and how painful the procedure must be. His breathing quickened, and he felt a soft hand brush against his. He looked down and noticed that a smaller pinkie finger was touching his own pinkie finger, their hands side by side on the armrest.

Sugawara Fumiyo smiiled back at him, lifting her hand and holding up her smallest finger before curling it around Suga's smallest finger. She smiled with her teeth and Suga gave her a weary, strained smile back before pulling his finger away.

Fumiyo was his sister. She had never spoken a word in her life, and Suga couldn't remember the last time her feet had met the ground. Suga leaned forward, taking in the sight of his pathetically mute sister sitting in her equally pathetic wheelchair. They were twins, but it was hard to think so when Fumiyo was so small and thin and sickly-looking.

"Why don't you stand up?" Suga barked, frowning at her. The hot emotions of a ten year old boy bubbled in his chest. "I know you can. Everybody can." Fumiyo made a gesture with her hands, still smiling, and Suga's frown deepened. He could not comprehend a word (hah!) of her language, and he told himself that he would never bother learning it.

It would only burden him.

Just like her.

Fumiyo was a representation of everything he didn't want to be. She was bullied at school (he knew, because sometimes he found enough wickedness in his heart to watch), unpopular, and was pretty much deaf to what was happening around her, even though she could hear perfectly fine.

"Oiii, Koushi, look over here!" his brother called, his tattoo finished. "How does it look?" He held out his arm, where a familiar set of kanji was inked on the inside of his forearm to his wrist.

"It looks so cool!" Suga said anyway, because it really was cool. He just didn't understand why his brother had tattooed their sister's name onto his skin.

"Yeah, yeah," the tattoo artist grumbled, "Listen, kids, you'd best leave. I don't exactly want to be arrested for tattooing minors..."

"Okay, mister," Suga's brother said amiably, walking over to Fumiyo and undoing the brakes on her wheelchair before pushing her out of the parlor, Suga close behind.

"I don't understand, onii-san," Suga complained, huffing, "Why did you put _her_ name on your arm?" _What about my name?_

"Eh?" His brother did a slight double take before laughing. "Are you jealous, Koushi?"

"No!" Suga denied, his cheeks flushing. "What's there to be jealous of? It's not like I _want_ my name on your arm... that's weird. Aren't the teachers gonna see?"

"Not if I wear the long-sleeved uniform all year round." He winked at Suga, chuckling. "Don't worry, Koushi, I made sure to arrange everything before I went ahead for this. It's pretty dangerous and illegal to be a minor and have a visible tattoo..."

"Then why did you do it?"

"Because I love Fumiyo," his brother said earnestly, his smile growing a little fonder. "Now don't get me wrong, I love you too, Koushi, but Fumiyo..." He clutched his arm. "She can't speak for herself. Which means I'm going to speak for her."

 _Why should you?_ Suga thought cruelly, glaring daggers at the back of his sister's wheelchair. _She's totally useless! Nobody likes her! Everyone hates her... I hate her! I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!_ He bit his lip, wondering what his brother would say if he ever heard Suga say those sinful words. "Yeah, okay," he eventually replied, shoving his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

His brother made a face before pinching the material of his jumper. "This old thing again? Didn't that use to be dad's?"

"All the popular kids at school are doing it!" Suga protested vehemently, pulling away from his brother. "Over-sized sweaters are in."

Fumiyo laughed, the sound bell-like and soft. The anger that swept over Suga threatened to knock him off his feet. _So she can laugh but not speak?! That's so lame!_

"You look ridiculous," his brother said, "Listen, even Fumiyo agrees!" He sighed through his nose and placed a large hand on Suga's shoulder. "You shouldn't follow the popular crowd all the time... if all the cool kids jumped off a bridge, would you?"

Suga, who was about to argue back, faltered. "Well, no. I don't wanna die."

"Exactly." His brother ruffled his head. "Just be yourself, Koushi. It's not cool if you try to be one of the popular kids."

Suga grunted, his cheeks warming. He liked it when his brother ruffled his hair. It was a reminder of how much his family loved him, even when their father went abroad and never came back. He briefly recalled walking into the kitchen for a midnight snack and seeing his mother crying into her hands, having discovered an online post featuring their father and a younger, prettier woman. "Fine," he agreed, self-consciously tugging at his hood. "It's too hot for hoodies anyway."

"Great, now do you guys want ice cream?"

"OH!" Suga grinned. "Yes, please! You know what flavor I want."

Fumiyo made an "aaah" sound before motioning to their eldest brother with her fingers, who nodded.

The three Sugawara siblings stopped at the ice cream shop, Fumiyo's wheelchair parked outside the store where Suga and their brother could see her from the confines of the ice cream shop.

As Suga's brother collected an ice cream cone, Suga turned to observe his sister. _What the...?_ Her chair was rolling gradually toward the road. Worry bloomed in his heart, stomping down the feeling of annoyance that usually accompanied him every time he laid eyes on that burden. "Onii-san, is Fumiyo supposed to be like that?" he asked, tugging on his brother's t-shirt.

"Huh? What are you—FUMIYO!" Suga jumped when his brother suddenly dashed toward Fumiyo, now teetering on the edge of a road. The ice cream that he had been about to take dropped onto the ground with a _splat!_

Tearing his gaze from the ice cream, he exited the store just in time to see a car round the corner as Suga's brother tried his best to unstuck the wheel of Fumiyo's wheelchair, which had gotten trapped in a large crack and dip in the road. From where he was standing, Suga couldn't help but noticed that the man in the car didn't even have his eyes on the road, looking instead at his phone.

"ONII-SAN!" Suga screamed as Fumiyo—having been picked up and thrown to safety—flew through the air and landed roughly on the sidewalk, lifting her head dazedly. Suga couldn't bear to look—not when he couldn't even handle the sight of a mechanical needle piercing some skin.

There was a screech, a thud, and the horrible sound of metal bending and snapping.

* * *

Suga woke up with a start, sitting up slowly from his bed. He hoped he hadn't screamed, for his mother—the sole money-bringer in their household as she insisted that Suga focused on his studies rather than earning money, was asleep in the next room. He got out of bed and quietly padded to his sister's room, pushing the door opened with a slight creak. His sister lay sound asleep in her futon, snoring very softly.

He glared into the dark, the back of his eyes stinging as he made the short journey back to his room, where he proceeded to collapse into a sea of blankets, still warm as he hadn't left them for long.

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he tossed and turned in his bed, unable to get back to the land of sleep. He hiccuped, throwing a hand over his face to try and furiously wipe the tears away. But they just kept coming.

"I hate you!" he hissed into the darkness. "This is all your fault...! If... if you could just walk and talk like a normal person, he wouldn't be dead!" He shoved his face into his pillow, biting the pillowcase material as he continued to sob, his entire body shaking. "Okaa-chan wouldn't have to work so hard to feed you! You can't get a job in the future like me. You're useless! I hate you, I hate you!"

There was a noise in the next room—his mother's room—and Suga ceased his quiet shouting, feeling guilty for disrupting his mother's sleep. The door creaked open and the light's switched on.

His mother stood at the doorway.

"Koushi," she said with a yawn, "I heard you talking... is everything alright?"

"Fine." Suga smiled genially at his mother, praying that his eyes were not too red and swollen. He hadn't been crying for long. "Just nervous. It's the first day of high school tomorrow."

"Ah." His mother smiled with her thin lips. She hardly ever smiled. If she did, there was no meaning behind it. "Get to sleep soon, Koushi. Dawn approaches us." With that, she turned off the lights and closed the door behind her.

 _Stop crying,_ he scolded himself, _No need to come to school looking like you've been crying all night. How embarrassing would that be?_ He had taken his late brother's last advice to heart—he no longer cared much about fitting in, only focusing on the relationships he _wanted_ to make and the things that he _wanted_ to do. The popular crowd decided nothing for him anymore.

 _Tomorrow,_ he coached himself, _Is the start of a new life. I'll study hard and play volleyball. I'll make new friends. Are you proud of me, onii-san?_ His train of thought paused momentarily. _Goodnight, onii-san. I love you._


	2. Wings of Change

_He who is overly attached to his family members experiences fear and sorrow, for the root of all grief is attachment. Thus one should discard attachment to be happy._

— _Chanakya_

* * *

Suga did not smile as he pushed his sister up the hill in silence. On the top of the gentle slope was Karasuno High, where he and Fumiyo would be spending their next three years.

"We're here," Suga said curtly, letting go of the handles when they reached the school gates. "You can wheel yourself, right?"

Fumiyo nodded, giving Suga a smile that irritated him.

"Stop that," he told her, frowning. "I couldn't just leave you to wheel yourself up the hill..." With that, Suga walked away, leaving Fumiyo to stare after his back.

The silver-haired boy, dressed in his pristine uniform, took out a sheet of paper with a list of all the available clubs at Karasuno. He didn't really need it as he knew what he was signing up for, and the sheet was more for appearances than anything else. If people thought he was focused on something else, they wouldn't bother him. He would make friends in his own pace. No shallow socializing for him.

"Gymnasium one," he read aloud to himself, his eyes glued on the piece of paper. "... This school is a lot bigger than I thought it'd be..." _I wonder if Fumiyo is okay?_ He paused. _Why should I care?_

"Hey! Are you going to gymnasium one?" Suga turned his head just as a dark-haired boy sidled up to him, his face set in an amiable expression. The other boy had a square jaw and broad shoulders, a contrast to Suga'a slightly pointed chin and slim build.

"H-huh? Yeah, I am." Suga smiled back at the boy, a little wary. "Are you going there as well?"

"Yep. Let's walk together. I'm Sawamura Daichi." The boys shook hands, Suga in turn introducing himself.

"Sugawara Koushi. Just call me Suga."

The other boy grinned. "Only if you call me Daichi."

"Sure, Daichi." His tone was lightly teasing, and he felt himself warming up a bit more to this boy. "What position did you play? I played setter in junior high."

"Left side hitter, but my real specialty is defence," Daichi stated, crossing his arms.

"Huh? Does that mean you want to be a libero?"

Daichi shook his head. "No. I also want to score points for my team. Libero isn't the position for me."

They got the gym after making some more conversation about some mundane things. Suga thoroughly enjoyed listening to Daichi telling him about the time he has to rescue an old lady's cat from being stranded on a tree (he had received three scratches on the face as a reward).

There was only one other boy there that looked even remotely their age. From how lost he looked, Suga supposed that he was a first year as well, even if he seemed to be older.

When Suga and Daichi entered the gym, the boy turned around, relieved.

"Thank goodness I'm not the only one...!" he breathed, smiling nervously. There was an awkward silence after that; the boy didn't know what else to say. Before he could start babbling about something uninteresting like the weather to try and diffuse the awkwardness, Daichi spoke up.

"Ah, you're Azumane, aren't you?"

"Ehh?!" the boy straightened. "Asahi Azumane—I-I mean, Azumane Asahi! Yes, that's me. How did you know?"

"I went to one of your games once!" Daichi exclaimed, smacking the taller boy's back and making him lurch. "You spike really hard! You must have been the ace, right?"

"Uhh, our team didn't really bother with naming an ace... felt that it would be giving too much special treatment to one person when it's really the team that holds it together."

Suga jumped into the conversation then. "What school did you go to? I went to Nagamushi and Daichi here went to Izumidate."

"A-ah—" Before Asahi could complete his stuttering answer, a couple of upperclassmen stepped into the gym, one of them bouncing a ball. Immediately, Suga, Asahi, and Daichi all assembled themselves into a sloppy line, Asahi standing between the other two boys and breaking out into a nervous sweat.

"Hey, hey, new kids!" one of the upperclassman chuckled, ceasing his bouncing of the ball. He nestled the ball in the crook of his elbow. "Don't they look fresh-faced? We used to look like that too..."

"Only three?" This upperclassman seemed disappointed in the lack of new members, and Suga felt a spike of irritation as well as sympathy for him.

"Guess we should be happy that we got any at all," another muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets and scowling. Suga turned to Daichi and Asahi to see if they knew anything about what was causing the prickly mood in some of the senpais, but both of them merely stared straight ahead.

"Okay, rookies, introduce yourselves!" the fourth senpai commanded, placing his hands on his hips.

Suga went first, shooting Asahi an encouraging glance once in a while as he spoke. The upperclassmen turned to Asahi next, seeing as he was next in line, and the giant first year managed to stutter out a basic introduction. Finally, Daichi was allowed to give his own introduction to the older students, an introduction that carried a different vibe to the one he had given Suga.

"Sawamura Daichi, from Izumidate Middle School!" Daichi shouted like a private replying to his superior in the army. "I played left! Ever since I saw Karasuno play in the nationals on TV, I knew this is where I wanted to go. It's an honor to be here... sirs!"

The sheer amount of passion in his voice rattled Suga, and he forced himself to be still to avoid visibly shaking. There was so much... emotion in his speech, and Suga suddenly felt a wave of emotions wash over _him_. When was the last time he had felt so strongly about something?

He couldn't recall. Because Sugawara Koushi was a careful boy who knew not to tempt fate if it could be helped. An innocent outing to get ice cream could quickly turn dark. He knew that from experience. He knew not to get too attached to things, because, in the end, they'd only be taken away.

But this boy...

He was so different. His spirit was strong, his will even stronger. Suga couldn't say much about the other boy, Azumane Asahi, but Daichi was definitely something.

Suga exhaled. Why did he feel like his mundanely routine-based life was going to change?

He knew his fate was sealed when the curly-haired third year exclaimed, "This year, our team's goal is to win nationals!"

"Yessir!" the first years chorused, Suga's voice falling a bit behind Asahi's and Daichi's.

He didn't think anyone noticed.


	3. Wings of Fire and Ice

_Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love._

— _Mother Teresa_

* * *

 _I cannot believe this,_ Suga thought as he scowled at the back of his sister's silver head. She sat at the back of the classroom, the only row with enough space to accommodate her bulky wheelchair. _What are the odds that we'd be in the same class?_ He'd done his best on the entrance exam so that he would be placed in a high class and _not_ end up with Fumiyo. The girl's academics were average at best.

Then again, Suga supposed with a heavy heart, his academics weren't the greatest either, hence why he was sorted into class 1-3.

"Oh, Suga? That you?" Daichi ambled up to him and nudged him with a friendly smile. "I can't believe we're in the same class as well. What are the odds of that? Why don't we sit together?"

So they did, taking two seats in the middle row, two rows in front of where Fumiyo was sitting, doodling the most random things onto some spare paper with that odd smile on her face.

 _Thank god Daichi's here too,_ Suga thought, relieved. _At least I know SOMEONE in this class._ Pretty soon, all the seats were nearly filled, the exceptions being those girls that had gotten out of their seat to circle Fumiyo.

"You're so good at drawing," one girl complimented the silver-haired mute. "Do you like anime? This character looks an awful lot like Ikari Shinji." She pointed at a sketch of a male, smiling.

Smiling back, Fumiyo moved her hand over her chin and extended her hand outward, giving a nod as well. The girl looked confused, and sat back down in her seat, giving Fumiyo a bewildered glance.

"Ah, it's sign language!" another girl deduced, smacking her closed fist on her palm in triumph. "I've seen it on TV before!" Her eyes grew wide. "But why are you using sign language? A-are you deaf?"

Fumiyo shook her head, that gentle smile remaining on her face. Then she made a few more gestures with her hands before getting an idea. She picked up her pencil again and scribbled something onto her paper, holding it up for the others to read.

Daichi craned his neck and lifted his butt off his chair to try and see. _What does it say? I... I am mute. Oh._ A wave of pity washed over him momentarily. _That must be pretty tough._

"What's so interesting?" Suga asked, sounding bored. Of course, he was well aware of the mini-crowd that had formed around his twin, but he really couldn't care less about Fumiyo's affairs.

"That girl over there is mute," Daichi whispered to his new friend, casting a glance back to Fumiyo. "Hold on, she's writing something again." The girl finished writing and held up her paper again.

 _"My name is Fumiyo,"_ Suga and Daichi recited at the same time. Daichi shot a shocked look at Suga, who hadn't even been looking in Fumiyo's direction.

"Whoa, do you have eyes on the back of your head?" Daichi wondered, scratching the back of his own head in contemplation. _Heh, if he does, then we'll definitely be winning nationals with him on the team,_ he thought jokingly.

"No," Suga said, and Daichi noticed that he sounded a lot tenser. "She did the same thing back in middle school as well. First, she tells people she can't talk like a normal person. Then she introduces herself."

Daichi tried not to look so surprised at the bitterness in Suga's voice, acting like nothing out of the blue had happened. "Ah, I see... so you were classmates back in middle school, huh?"

Suga gave him a long look, his brows furrowing. It was then Daichi noticed for the first time that there was a mole next to his left eye. "Actually," he said eventually, sounding reluctant, "We're siblings. Twins, to be exact." _Great. Now he's going to act all shocked and surprised and ask a lot of questions..._

"Oh, really?" Daichi paused. "I should have seen the resemblance. Not a great deal of people have silver hair like you two." He left it at that, and Suga felt a rush of appreciation toward the dark-haired boy.

"Yeah," Suga said, giving a small smile. "Yeah, I guess so. You really should have known better, heh. Hey, uh..." Suga flushed slightly as he stumbled over his words. "Are you free after school? I don't think they'll give out much homework on the first day and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out or anything." He tried to sound casual but was miserably failing. "I mean, if you want. We could practice some volleyball with the upperclassmen or grab a bite to eat."

Suga braced himself for rejection, because he knew that there was always a chance of that happening.

"Sure, why not?" Daichi gave him a thumbs up, smirking. "You up for some WacDonald's? A new one just opened up nearby."

Suga hesitated before returning a smirk, though it quickly turned into a genuine smile. "Sure thing."

* * *

At the end of the day, Fumiyo found that she had made two (maybe?) new friends. One was a girl named Michimiya Yui, and the other was Aihara Mao. They were two very different personalities and clashed like fire and ice, but somehow managed to tolerate each other for Fumiyo's sake. Michimiya was an active, energetic girl, while Aihara always had a cool and indifferent mask on her face.

Michimiya liked to huff and call Aihara "Ice Cube", but Fumiyo could only think about how lucky she was to be friends with Aihara. She was icy, mature, and composed, but that mask could be taken off anytime. Her brother Sugawara Koushi's mask, on the other hand, seemed to be permanently stuck onto his face whenever he was around her.

The two girls seemed to be more interested in each other than Fumiyo, likely because the latter girl literally had no words to speak to them. But that didn't mean they weren't willing to learn.

"Wait, so 'hello' is this?" Michimiya stuck her tongue out in concentration as she did a salute-like gesture with her right arm while the three walked (or in Fumiyo's case, wheeled) down the hallway. Fumiyo giggled softly and nodded, signing something back to her.

Michimiya grinned. "I'll take that as a 'close enough'."

"Let me try," Aihara said, repeating the action with more fluidity and grace than Michimiya had. "How was that, Fumiyo-chan?"

Fumiyo gave a small round of applause, giving her a thumbs up as she smiled.

"Geeh!" Michimiya moaned. "How are you so good?"

"I suppose I just have a natural aptitude at picking up these kinds of things," Aihara stated. "What about 'goodbye', Fumiyo-chan?"

Fumiyo took her hands off the wheels of her chair to sign something at them. It involved flipping out her index and middle finger, her palm facing her, and jerking downwards slightly.

"Ah, I see." Aihara nodded while Michimiya unsuccessfully tried to replicate the hand movements.

"This is so hard!" she complained, giving Aihara a look. "You must be some kind of sign language genius or something..."

"Perhaps," Aihara said coolly, looking down at her hands, "But I wouldn't count my chickens before they hatch."

"Chi~" Fumiyo sounded out, moving her tongue in a strange motion.

"Eh?!" Even Aihara was taken aback by this new development. "I didn't realize you could speak. I guess sounds are the best you can do, though..."

Fumiyo smiled again, her eyes curving upward as they sparkled.

* * *

 **A/N: By now, most of you would have noticed the similarities between this fic and Koe no Katachi/Shape of Voice. The movie is my main source of inspiration, among other forms of media.**

 **But I promise you that it will be at least slightly different. The ending is different. That's all I can disclose. Also, Aihara Mao is a canon minor character in Haikyuu!.**

 **On another note, if you like Haikyuu!xOC, please check out _Kindergarten Bully_ on my other account, _jungkookies_ (':**


End file.
